How do you spell hypocrisy? M-I-A-M-I-H-E-R-A-L-D

So last week the Herald runs a story about a woman, Abbe Rifkin, who works for the Miami Dade State Attorney's office who apparently was so offended by a license tag she saw in traffic that she whipped out her camera phone to take a picture.

So offended in fact that she "literally almost drove off the road." At least that's what she told Joan Fleischman.

Being offended is one thing, but calling Joan and making a federal case out of it is infantile.

I love the language of the article. The offending tag carried the word TWAT. The prosecutor said "It is a vulgar term for female genitalia -- and I was offended."

Well, stop the presses and get me re-write!

And Joan, not to be outdone in the childish behavior department couldn't even bring herself to write the "offending" word in its entirety.

Instead she wrote this: "A four-letter word that begins and ends with T."

What? Toot? Twit?

Here we have two grown women acting like second graders who tell school teachers they have to go number one or number two.

But never let it be said that the Herald didn't see an opportunity to go after a few thousand more web hits on a slow news day.

Even though Joan's column normally runs on Wednesdays and Sundays the Herald posted her story about the offended prosecutor early Tuesday evening. Apparently that afforded them the opportunity to harvest more web hits as they played the story on the main page of the website.

Along with a photo of the "offending" tag. With the word that Joanie couldn't bring herself to write!


I loved the headline on the article also: "Vanity tag's 4-letter message raises brows"...when apparently the only brows raised were those of Joan and Abbe.

Next we have two stories that have run in the past few days on the Herald's website.

One was on a search for a "tanning butler" at the Miami Beach Ritz Carlton.

In case you're wondering, a "tanning butler's" job is to slather suntan oil on the backsides of rich women at the Ritz. The pay? $30 an hour plus tips.

The article didn't say anything about fringe benefits if you get my drift! *wink nudge*

The story ran complete with an 11 image photo gallery.


Then we have the story of Cosmopolitan magazine trying to set a world's record for the number of women photographed in bikinis or some such nonsense.

World record my ass!

It was a publicity stunt that the Herald fell for hook, line and sinker.

I don't know if they even bothered to run a story on this but they did post another photo gallery for all those horny executives stuck in those offices on Brickell Avenue.

Memo to Herald honchos: If you're going to peddle porn you'll have to do better than this:

C'mon, that pic wouldn't excite a guy who's been locked away for 20 years on death row!

And wassup with that chick on the right? Has she eaten lately?

I think they also ran a slide show on the porn convention on Miami Beach this weekend but you'll have to find that yourself. There are some things even we won't stoop to here at Random Pixels!

The point of all this?

As everyone knows, newspapers are struggling to find new ways to lure readers to the web. They want those eyeballs and page views.

But is this how they intend to do it?

The Miami Herald, which likes to call itself a "family newspaper" and the community watchdog, is turning into a purveyor of soft porn.

Come on fellows. Lets get back to reporting the news and leave the porn to the pros.

You guys aren't even in the same league! You can't touch them with a ten foot pole!

Oops! Sorry!